A Spiritual Exercise from The Book of Love by Daphne Rose Kingma

In The Book of Love Daphne Rose Kingma writes lyrically about the many-faceted aspect of this quality in a long-term committed relationship. Here is a good example.

"Compliments are the verbal nourishment of the soul. They generate self-esteem and in a very subtle way create a person in the full spectrum of his or her essence. Compliments invite the person who is complimented to embrace a new perception of him- or herself. Just as layers and layers of nacre form a pearl over an irritating grain of sand, so compliments collect around us, developing us in all our beauty.

"Celebrating the exceptional will make you aware not only the value of the other person but also of your own specialness. To contemplate the uniqueness of your mate is, at the same time, to inform yourself about your own fine qualities. For the exceptionalness of your beloved is a reflection of you; you would not be in the arms of this incredible person if there weren't also something very special about you. To honor your wife's beauty is to be reminded of your own worthiness. To relish your husband's sensitivity is to be made aware that you are the kind of person in whose presence such emotional elegance can flourish.

"In such ways do we confirm that we are not only lucky in love but worthy of being loved. To see the appropriateness of your being together is to have a sense of hope and joy about your mutual love. Therefore, lavish praise on the person you love, and the blessings will come back to you a thousandfold."

To Practice: Make it a habit to complement your partner, a friend, or a family member every day.