"When both partners are still light and not filled with too many knots. The practice is not difficult. Together we look at the misunderstanding that created the knot, and then we untie it. For example, if we hear our husband exaggerating to his friends about something that he did, we may feel a knot being tied inside us in the form of some disrespect for him. But if we discuss it with him right away, the two of us can come to a clear understanding, and the knot will be untied easily.
"If we practice the art of mindful living together, we can do this. We see that the other person, like us, has both flowers and compost inside, and we accept this. Our practice is to water the flowerness in her and not bring her more garbage. We avoid blaming and arguing. When we try to grow flowers, if the flowers do not grow well, we do not blame or argue with them. We blame ourselves for not taking care of them well. Our partner is a flower. If we take care of her well, she will grow beautifully. If we take care of her poorly, she will wither. To help a flower grow well, we must understand her nature. How much water does she need? How much sunshine? We look deeply into ourselves to see our true nature, and we look into the other person to see her nature."